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The Business of Not Repeating History and the Ghosts of Parenting Past

29/03/2024 @ 23:08

Parenting is no joke... well, except for the part where it turns your life into a series of “Why did I just step on a Lego again?” moments. But when you come from a background of parent-related trauma, the stakes feel even higher. It’s like walking a tightrope while juggling fire and you know, someone’s entire future. No pressure.

We all have our ghosts but seriously, growing up with less-than-ideal parenting can leave you with a suitcase full of issues you’re not keen to pass down as a parent to your kids. It’s like inheriting a family heirloom that’s f**king cursed. Thanks, but I’ll pass on the generational trauma, and no, it doesn’t look better with a new coat of paint.

Breaking the cycle is about as easy as teaching Flower quantum physics. But... it’s not impossible. It starts with self-awareness, which is a fancy way of saying, “Hey, maybe don’t do that thing that made you miserable as a kid.” It’s about being the parent you needed when you were young, even if that means being the uncool mom or dad who doesn’t let their kid eat ice cream for breakfast. Party pooper? More like party preserver. On a serious note, the desire not to repeat our parents’ mistakes is a powerful motivator. It pushes us to seek out resources, learn new strategies, and sometimes, sit quietly in the bathroom for a five-minute breather because parenting is hard and toddlers are a lot. It’s about creating a safe, nurturing environment where our kids can thrive, even if we’re still figuring it out ourselves. There’s no instruction manual, and if you're like me, you're way too stubborn to ask for directions.

Parenting is a journey, one that’s often messy, loud, and filled with unexpected detours. But it’s also filled with love, laughter, and the kind of learning that only comes from doing the hardest job in the world.

It’s about acknowledging the scars and choosing to heal rather than hide them. It’s about being the adult you needed when you were younger, even if that means being the villain in your kid's story sometimes. After all, every superhero needs a good origin story, and who am I to deny them that?

So, here’s to not repeating history! To healing,  to the parents who are rewriting their family legacies, one bedtime story at a time, and to finding the humour in the eternal chaos. Because if we can’t laugh at the absurdity of a toddler’s tantrum over the wrong color cup, then what can we laugh at?

Also remember, the goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress. And every day that we choose to do better than the day before, we’re succeeding. So, keep stepping on those f**king Legos, keep learning, and keep loving. That’s what parenting is all about.

The best we can do is to ensure that the next generation has fewer “what not to do” examples and more moments of genuine, unconditional love. And maybe, just maybe, they’ll look back and say, “You know what? They did alright.”

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